Finally, I got a window to let my imagination out. Finally, I got something worthwhile to do. Finally, I am having the realization that maybe…yes; maybe…I am on the right track. Even though I have a long way to go, at least it feels good to begin somewhere.
I came to this city of lights, hopes, and dreams called Mumbai to achieve something and I have just taken the first step towards it. I came here, to become a filmmaker. And today I began working as an Assistant Film Director under a Film Director. He’s not some bigshot, but at least someone to get me through the initial phase, and that is what I wanted.
I am happy but on the other side worried too. Worried what my parents would say as my job as an AD won’t be paying me much. I don’t know what to do? To tell them the truth or to lie for a few more days? They have backed me up until now in every risk I have ever taken (even though reluctantly). I guess I should tell them. What they say is a matter to think about afterward. Let’s just get the snake out of the box! If he bites or not is another case.
If they believe in me they will understand that I have to do this. I have to start somewhere. And this is what I came here for anyway. I love them and don’t want to hurt them anymore but…I have learned that our truth and dreams sometimes hurt the people we love. Even though if it is just initially. Maybe the days after this initial sting will be a bliss.
Maybe…maybe…sometimes these words of mine sound like a promise, but sometimes they even sound hollow. They constantly ask me the same question again and again! Am I doing the right thing? Am I living just for myself? And the answer that I hear coming from inside me is a scary one. It says “YES!” But I know I am not selfish. Is it bad to dream a dream and work towards achieving it? Is it wrong in thinking that your loved ones will trust you enough?
Well…let’s not dwell into the afterthoughts this one time. This one time, let’s just live in the moment! A moment where I start. A moment where I got a window…finally!