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Walk On

“कोई  पुरानी  याद  मेरा  रास्ता  रोके  मुझसे कहती  है
इतनी  जलती  धुप  में  यूँ  कब  तक  घूमोगे
आओ  चल  के  बीते  दिनों  की  छाव  में  बैठें
उस  लम्हे  की  बात  करें की जिस  में  कोई  फूल  खिला  था
उस  लम्हे  की  बात  करें  की  जिस  में  किसी  आवाज़  की चांदी  खनक  उठी  थी
उस  लम्हे  की  बात  करें  की  जिस  में  किसी  की नज़रों के  मोती  बरसे  थे !
कोई  पुरानी  याद  मेरा  रास्ता  रोके  मुझसे  ये  कहती  है  इतनी  जलती धुप  में  यूँ  कब  तक  घूमोगे !”

By Javed Akhtar

Here comes one more end. End of something which was once very good, but it is no more. End of something with a good beginning. Some great person (I don’t know the name of) has said that,

“We met, it was luck. We talked, it was by chance. We became friends, that was destiny.”

Unknown

If I knew this person, I would have said that he/she has written these words for me. Because, this great person, has simply outlined my life in these few words. They just fit in perfectly! People, come into my life, they come so close that they become a part of my life. Then, life’s path twists around and we have to take on different ways to walk on. One last look.  last hug or a handshake. That’s it. We walk away then, hoping against hope that maybe, one day, someday, we’ll meet again. Savor each other’s company. Enjoy the laughter and treasure the silences. But, deep down inside, I know that it’s all just an illusion. I know perfectly well that dreams are never to be fulfilled. At least dreams like this. Meeting again is quite impossible.

 No matter how much I curse myself. I know that it’s all written. I have to meet this person, learn something from them and then move on. What I learn, particularly, is a mystery. It’s as if a lamp has been ignited inside me that rests inside me forever. It shows me light and guides me whenever I feel lost.

I don’t know how many such lamps reside inside me. I just know this much that the number keeps on increasing with the passage of time. Every time, one of these lamps comes to put me out of a tough situation, I feel a vague recollection of a person that ignited it inside me. Nothing accurate, just a random memory. Like a pair of enigmatic eyes, or a bright smile, a typical hand gesture, a good luck charm always kept nearby, some touching and encouraging words maybe once spoken or it could also be the sound of someone’s laugh. They flash before my eyes, uninvited. They are just like talismans! Always with me, inside me. Somehow, making me the person I have to be.

 I don’t know what I would have done if these memories or talismans would not have been there. I would have felt very lonely. It’s not like I don’t feel lonely now. I do. But, at least I don’t feel as if I am lost. Whenever I feel as if I am losing myself, all of a sudden, I hear a voice inside me which guides me through. It shows me a path which is very difficult to walk on. And full of sacrifices and suffering no doubt. But, I somehow know, that it’s the best thing to do.

A box full of memories.

But, you know what? It’s hard sometimes. Hard and hurtful to part away with people you love, actually care for and feel a special connection with. It’s hard to realize and accept the fact that the halt of pleasure and good times is over. That it’s time to move ahead on the long journey. Time to search for some other things, discover something else. Or maybe collect some other talisman! I too look back many times. Constantly having a dilemma in my mind. My heart says let’s stay back. Enjoy the love and warmth for some more time. But, my mind saying let’s move on. Good moments spent there flashing by my eyes. But, I know that I can’t stay back. I know that it has to be this way.

 Here I end this recollection of mine. I start my journey again today. Yes, I have a train to catch and yes, I am leaving something or rather someone behind today. I am, in a way parting ways with this person. I don’t want to but the situation demands it. The differences are dominating at the moment and I realize that maybe parting now is the best way to remember this person. We both catch different trains from the same station today. Two trains, going in two different directions. Oh yes, I’ll also retain some memory of this person’s with me forever. It can be anything and it’ll remind of this very special friend who touched my life in a very unique way. I think it’ll be the voice. I can’t be sure but I think so. Because I am in love with this person’s voice.

 Alas! It’s time for me to move ahead on my journey. Right now, it’s time to walk ahead. The last halt was good but it’s not my destination neither my heaven. So, right now, I just walk on…

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